Manifesto: The Mad Farmer Liberation Front
Love the quick profit, the annual raise,
vacation with pay. Want more
of everything ready-made. Be afraid
to know your neighbors and to die.
And you will have a window in your head.
Not even your future will be a mystery
any more. Your mind will be punched in a card
and shut away in a little drawer.
When they want you to buy something
they will call you. When they want you
to die for profit they will let you know.
Carole and I have two children who have been adults for years but we think of them as our “kids.” Christine is a mom of 3 of the best small people ever and a forgiving wife of a compulsive mountain biker — they both do other stuff too. And one day Christine might join us in our shared work in journeying with people.
David who has been a spiritual director and intentional tutor for many years has recently graduated with an MA in Spiritual Formation from Carey Theological College. He is also Special Education Coach and tutor with kids with “dif-abilites” (his word). He also has a degree as a Special Education Assistant from CapU plus a BA degree in psychology and theology.
We welcome David to our shared practice. You can reach him at http://www.davidducklow.com. He works out of his home office and local libraries in North and West Vancouver.
I encourage you to read his blogs to get a sense of his deep life (http://davidducklow.blogspot.ca). And, by the way, he has “dif-abilites” too.
Now that is a truism. Sometimes I tell my clients that I can’t even afford me! (I am never sure how they take that.)
But how you feel about the expense of counselling depends a lot on what you get out of it.
My fee is $180 per hour. Carole’s fee is $160 per hour and David’s fee is about $50-75 per hour. I usually see someone for about 10, 1-hour sessions, so the total is about $1800 over several months. That is a lot of money, perhaps what you pay on car insurance. And then you take that car in for a tune-up (actually they don’t tune up anymore – they download computer upgrades) or sign up for a course at Capilano U.
Here is what I do about fees:
• I charge $45 per hour less than the suggested rate for Psychologists ($225 as of January, 2019). I want to give back to you.
• Many of you can have your fees covered under an employee assistance plan or an insurance program. Make sure that you check your coverage for “Psychologists” before you visit with me. By the way, Carole’s fees as a Registered Clinical Counsellor may be covered under your plan as well.
• Here is something interesting: if both you and your partner are both covered under your EAP or insurance program it may mean that you have twice the number of appointments for couple counselling. Imagine how many family appointments you can have if you have 10 kids!
• Keep your receipts for your income tax – some of it may be reimbursable. Ask an accountant.
• I also create my own assistance plan with your church or community group. You pay a portion (about a third) of the fee and they pay about a third, and I will reduce my fee to correspond. And this for a maximum of 10 sessions.
I am happy to say that most of my client-friends consider therapy to be good value and many recommend their family and friends. Counselling can be a valuable investment and worth much more than it costs.
(Updated in January, 2019)
[You can respond to this blog or anything else you see on my web site by emailing life@theducklows.ca.]
Anais Nin commented that “we don’t see things as they are, we see things as we are.”
Acknowledging this – that our life and especially our pain, skews our seeing and our thinking – is the first step in mediation and conflict resolution.
If the psychologist observes this when two parties are deeply stuck and viciously divided, she challenges her client-friend’s way of being in the world, his world view.
The second step is to appreciate the other’s point of view – to see that it has merit.
The third step in mediation is to find an agreed upon goal that both parties can strive towards. This is popularly known as a ‘win-win’ solution and puts the combatants on the same side.
These 3 steps result in a ‘success’ that is seldom better than 70%; in other words, neither party gets the perfection they think they are due.
Acknowledging, then appreciating and finally agreeing. And that seems right to me.
